Phil asked me to write something for today. Don't ask me why. He was probably totally scrapped for ideas so he was hoping I had something to say. Yeah, like any of us have something to say. You know what I mean?

Whatever. Anyway, I said I'd do it because, you know, what else am I going to do today? Work? Earn money to support my two kids? Fuck that.

But I didn't actually have anything to write about, so I was just sitting there and watching this ad for ITT Technical Institute, and I thought to myself, "If you rearrange the letters just a little, it would say 'TIT Technical Institute! That's fucking hilarious! I could get a technical degree with TITs!!!"

So I tried it with other words too, with varied results. Some words worked great. Like "Tufts University," for instance. You don't even have to respell that one, because "tufts" already sounds sorta sketchy. Others are impossible. I tried "McDonalds," and couldn't think of anything. Too many damn letters.

Then there's the words that strike the middle ground. Like "Subway." If I rearrange it, it says "buwsay," which sounds kinda like "pussy," but not really. I dunno, it sounds vaguely sexual, so I'd count it.

Other words can stay the same and just need to be pronounced differently. Coke, for instance, can be pronounced so it says "cock." If you have trouble seeing how that works, just remove the "e" from the end and it says, "Cok." That's how the porn sites with poor grammatical ability spell it anyway.

So in summation, be cool and stay in school. Because reading is fun!

Would you like an Orangina?