How Santa Got His Groove Back
by Phil

Twas the night before Christmas
And at the North Pole
All the elves in the workshops
Were making their last pull

But Santa was listless
Not making a move
After decades of marriage
Santa'd lost his groove.

Mrs. Claus' big fat bottom
Didn't raise the old flag
And Santa was fearing
"Could I be a fag?"

When out on the roof
Santa heard a sharp moan
He clambered up to see
Popping a bone.

And there on the rooftop
Was an underage elf,
She was humping the chimney
And looking for help.

"Oh Santa," she cried
"I've been a bit naughty,
Fantasizing about you,
You jolly fat hottie."

Mrs. Claus was asleep,
She never would know,
And here was this elf chick
Who wanted him so...

So Santa could have had
That elf in the sack,
But he didn't need to:
Santa had his groove back.

Ho ho hos, merry Christmas.