My Two Most Favorite Recipies
by Dan the Uber-Wench
A RECIPE FOR BLUEBERRY PANCAKES
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 eggs
1 cup milk
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup fresh blueberries
DIRECTIONS:
In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar, salt and baking powder. Melt the butter in a large skillet
over low heat.
Wash and rinse the blueberries. Chop coarsely. Set aside.
Add the eggs and milk to the mixture in the bowl and blend with a whisk. Add the butter from the pan
and mix thoroughly. Toss in the chopped blueberries, and blend them in. The chopped berries will cause
the batter to turn purple.
Add a bit more butter to grease the pan and increase the flame to medium. Add the batter as you see fit.
Use the remainder of the butter to grease the pan for more pancakes.
Flip each pancake once and only once before removing from the pan. You can tell it's ready by the
appearance of tiny bubbles, uniformly distributed over the
upper surface of the pancake.
Warm the plates in the oven (at the lowest setting), before
serving the pancakes. Pancakes don't stay warm for long. You may wish to keep a stack in the oven
and accumulate them before serving.
A RECIPE FOR DISASTER
INGREDIENTS:
1 Boeing 747 with faulty landing gear
2 horny, adventurous teenage boys
1 Rowan Atkinson
3 poorly-insulated canisters of nitro
3 meteors careening towards earth
1 band of international terrorists
1 man on the brink of psychological breakdown
1 genetic experiment horribly gone wrong
DIRECTIONS:
In a large bowl, mix the Boeing 747 with faulty landing gear, the meteors careening towards earth,
and the band of international
terrorists. Melt the nitro in a large skillet over low heat.
Wash and rinse the genetic experiment horribly gone wrong. Chop coarsely. Set aside.
Add the horny, adventurous teenage boys and Rowan Atkinson to the mixture in the bowl and
blend with a whisk. Add the nitro from the pan
and mix thoroughly. Toss in the chopped genetic experiment, and blend it in.
The chopped experiment will cause the batter to turn purple.
Add a bit more nitro to grease the pan and increase the flame to medium. Add the terror as you see fit.
Use the remainder of the nitro to grease the pan for more disaster.
Flip each disaster once and only once before removing from the pan. You can tell it's ready by the
appearance of tiny screams, uniformly distributed over the
upper surface of the disaster.
Warm the plates in the oven (at the lowest setting), before
serving the disaster. Disasters don't stay warm for long. You may wish to keep a stack in the oven
and accumulate them before serving.
Next week: Love potions #1 - 8!
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