10.   If your girlfriend smells like Drakkar Noir for some reason, even though she doesn't own any Drakkar Noir and neither do you, and that guy you hired to follow her says she's not sampling Drakkar Noir from a department store or anything.

9.   If you go to a hotel and she signs the register with a fake name like Missy Elliot, and then says, "Oh wait, I'm here with you, my bad," and changes it to her real name.

8.  If she comes home from a business trip and she seems to have lost her panties on the airplane somehow, even though you explicitly tied a string around her finger to remind her not to lose her panties this time.

7.   If she is having sex with someone else.

6.   If she...  actually, I think #7 pretty much covers the bases here.

Yep, I'm done.
 
 
 
 

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