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You want fries with that?
by Bayard Russell


A young man from Texas enters a touristy cafe in Paris and sits down.

"Waiter, I'm a-hungrier than a civilian in Baghdad! How 'bout you bring me some Freedom Toast pronto."

The waiter looks confused. "Eh? No, we do not have this."

"Ye don't? Well then, it must be too late for breakfast. Rustle me up an order of some Freedom Fries then, and..."

"Freedom Fries? What is this you are talking about? We have none of these!"

"Really? Fine, just fine. Mebbe I'll have me some soup then, bring me a bowl of Freedom Onion Soup, and make it hot."

"Freedom Onion Soup? We have none of this, what you call, Freedom Onion either! Perhaps you should look at the menu, no?"

"No Freedom Onion Soup?! What kinda dive is this? This here is the country of Freedom, ain't it?"

"What? No! This is not a country of Freedom, this is France!"

"Ohh... well now. Call it what you like, I guess. Hmmm... I reckon I'll just have me a cheeseburger. Ye got that, don't ye?"

"We are a touristy cafe in Paris, of course we have cheeseburgers. What cheese would you like on it?"

"Oh, just your plain-Jane, run-of-the-mill Fascist cheese would suit me just fine."

"Very well, monsieur. Excellent choice."



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