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King, Chinese official discuss joint; regional issues

by a prominent journalist

AMMAN (JT) — His Majesty King Abdullah discussed on Thursday with Chinese government adviser Ismail Amat regional developments as well as opportunities to consume some primo Lebanon Red.

Amat said China places much importance on its relations with Jordan. He said his country is keen to improve such ties at the political, economic and cultural levels. "Damn, this is some good shit," he added.

The Chinese official said China has classified Jordan as a 'far-out' tourist destination, and this decision will facilitate Chinese tourists' visits to the Kingdom. He further asked whether His Majesty had ever really looked at his hand. Because hands are totally freaky when you think about them.

Royal Court Chief Fayez Tarawneh smoked a bowl at the meeting, in which the King and Amat also reviewed the Iraqi and Palestinian issues while getting totally mellow.

Earlier, Prime Minister Ali Abul Ragheb and Amat met and discussed the need for both countries to develop their ties, and to encourage their private sectors to explore hydroponics research opportunities.

Abul Ragheb briefed the official on the the best method of employing rolling papers and the awesome pizza available through the Jordan-US Free Trade Agreement. They also stressed the need for both countries to raise their sweet, sweet bud trade volume from the present level of $300 million.

On regional issues, they called on the Israeli and the Palestinian sides to "totally mellow out, because you're harshing our moods."

"Man," they added.

They demanded that Israel end its totally uncool crackdowns and shit against the Palestinian people and immediately withdraw from the occupied Palestinian lands as a prerequisite to stopping the cycle of violence there. "Or whatever," said Ragheb. "Because we're totally all connected and shit and like you know, cosmically, this all just a big drag."

Abul Ragheb and Amat voiced concern over the developments in Iraq and US threats to launch a war against this Arab country, warning that such a military action "will have grave repercussions on the entire region's economies and security." "This one time," said His Majesty King Abdullah, "I was visiting Iraq with my cousin, okay? And he said to me; 'Abdullah, I am so stoned right now.' And I laughed a great deal for he was more stoned than even the Prophet Mohammed could possibly have imagined. So, anyway, we went out to find some babaganoush because our bellies were as empty and hungry as the desert winds. When suddenly Moustafa started humping this man's camel right there in down-town Baghdad."

His Majesty paused before adding, "The man was totally pissed but Moustafa just wouldn't stop humping the camel's leg. So finally, the man pulled out a rifle and shot Moustafa in the foot."

"Truly, that was so fucking funny," he concluded.

They said the crisis could only be defused through peaceful efforts under the UN umbrella, and Iraq's full compliance with international resolutions. "Umbrellas freak me out," stated the Chinese envoy. "Hee hee, uuuuummmmbrellllllaaaa," added Abul Ragheb.

Friday-Saturday, January 10-11, 2003

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