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Monday, 11 November, 2002, 05:39 GMT 06:39 UK
Fatal Bus Blast rocks Tel Aviv
Bass player by the sex bus
Band member dons heavy protective gear in preparation for skank-ass hos that always seem to be on tour bus.

Five people have been throroughly rocked and many more moderately in a small-venue concert in the Israeli city of Tel Aviv.

The AFP news agency says it has received a fax from the manager of the band Fatal Bus Blast saying it carried out the rocking.

During the concert I flashed my ankles, so they invited me to their "love trailer" afterwards. Then I flashed a little more... tee hee!

Palestinian aide
The concert happened near the city's main synagogue on Allenby Street - one of Tel Aviv's busiest shopping and night club districts - just after 2100 local time (1000 GMT).

Palestinians say Israel has replied to the totally hardcore guitar licks of the band's front man Omar Psycho by sending equally awesome punk rockers Bulldog Love into Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat's compound in the city of Ramallah to give a command performance for the beleaguered Arafat. "We felt that anything this hardcore could not be ignored," said foreign minister Shimon Peres. "The mad sounds of Fatal Bus Blast had to be answered in kind. Our first choice of response was to send in Evil Petting Zoo, but after much talk among the Security Council, cooler heads won out and we sent Bulldog Love to show the resolve of our nation," he added.

It is the second random rocking of ass in two days. Another group, Spinal Hump, says it carried out a guerilla concert on Wednesday which "blew the minds of the squares" at a shopping center in the north of the country.

These are the first times that people have been rocked this thoroughly in Israel for six weeks, although folk music and easy listening has continued in the West Bank and Gaza Strip.


Fatal Bus Blast told the AFP news agency Thursday's concert was its latest act of retaliation for the drunk and disorderly charge levelled against its leader, Sheikh Sultan Squat-Thrust, in a bar brawl incident earlier this year.

"At 12:55 this evening, we took bus number 4 to our venue downtown and totally rocked hardcore ass. The charges against Squat-Thrust were totally bogus and the occupation dogs will pay for their affront to the spirit of rock and roll," the Fatal Bus Blast fax said. "Fatal Bus Blast rulez!" it added.

Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has called an emergency cabinet meeting and curfews are reported to have been reimposed on a number of West Bank venues.

Government spokesman Dore Gold told None More News the attack proved that this sweet, sweet rocking continues unabated. "This is totally unacceptable," stated Gold. "The next thing you know, the kids will be smoking, or having their tongues pierced."

"Or worse, they'll get their you know whats pierced; that's just sick. But all the kids are doing it. I'd have my son drug off to jail or shot before he shoves a piece of metal through his dong," he concluded.


More than 40 people were rocked in the Tel Aviv concert- several of them are in a seriously wasted condition.

Police say they were powerless to stop the rocking of Fatal Bus Blast as the rhythm of the guitar and the pounding of the drums were so powerfully orchestrated that no mere mortal could have gone within hearing of the wildly playing band without being rocked beyond comprehension.

An eyewitness, identified only as Sarit, told Army Radio: "We heard an explosion, very big. We saw a large cloud of smoke and immediately out came the band playing their cover of BowWowWow's I Want Candy. They hadn't played that since the start of the current conflict and we were all very excited to hear it. If you are reading this, Fatal Bus Blast; I, Sarit, also want candy. Bring candy to me any time you are able! I will be awaiting you, Fatal Bus Blast."

"Oh, Omar Psycho also breathed fire. That was completely awesome. Truly Omar Psycho is a god of the rock. Fatal Bus Blast rules!" Sarit concluded.

Praise Allah, my head hurts... what the fuck did I drink last night? And where the hell are my pants? And why is Radhiyaa lying naked next to me?... awww shit.

Abdel Aziz Rantissi, Hamas political leader

Observers say the rocking is a setback for Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and his band; Barrel of Old Men which has been arguing that rocking out within Israel, which many see as way too uptight, should stop.

Israel accused the Palestinians of thinking that they are no longer cool. "Israel is still cool!" said Dore Gold. "Just because we need a little more sleep before we go to work in the morning doesn't mean we're getting old or anything."

"I repeat: Isreal is still cool," he concluded. "Besides, Fatal Bus Blast is totally lame. Chainsaw Kittens, I love you!"

The BBC's Jeremy Cooke
"A return to bloodshed after weeks of calm"
Israeli government spokesman Dore Gold
"This war against the people of Israel continues"
Palestinian labour spokesman Ghassan Al-Khatib
"This violence, whether it is Israeli or Palestinian, is unfortunate"

Government collapses




See also:

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